I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
