we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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