Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
