Your dad touched me again.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
