roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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