i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
