i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
