evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
BRING THE BAGELS
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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