I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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