two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
