I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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