she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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