AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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