Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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