i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
