.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
