i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
