We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
