Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize