just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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