Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize