After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
