Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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