My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
