I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
