i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
