You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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