WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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