I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
