i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
