i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
