saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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