do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
