he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
