this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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