why didn't you poke me back
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
