this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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