This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
