bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
