I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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