absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
