the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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