i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
4 words: hood of his car
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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