yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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