We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drunk is a universal language darling
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