Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The air was thick with penises
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That accounts for only three of the penises
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
