I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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