My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
