I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
