i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
