Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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