people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
