This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
