I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
