you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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