He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
