you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
