YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
