No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
