so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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